Saturday, March 29, 2014


This little boy makes me question everything I thought I knew about being a mom.
Its true that every kid is different and that what worked with one kid won't necessary work with the next kid. 
My first toddler was Landon, he was quiet, patient, kind, loving, cautiously curious and listened to pretty much everything I said the first time. Then came Braddoc who was a much different toddler, not only because he has autism but because he is much more dangerously curious then Landon was. It would take him awhile to pick up on a rule but as soon as he did he would not deviate from it. He has the biggest heart of any little kid Ive ever seen and wants to please people always. He scared me a lot by running off but after I would gently explain to him that it hurt mommies heart when he did not listen he would change his behavior quickly.

Tayton on the other hand has brought a whole new meaning to the word patience.
I have learned that Patience is not something one merely possesses and simply is. I have learned that patience is a LEARNED virtue and just like anything else you have to learn it takes PRACTICE, lots and lots of daily, hourly, or in Tayton's case every minute of practice. 

It does not matter how many times I tell him no, or that somethings is dangerous, he is still going to do it. It doesnt matter if I tell him that it hurts my heart and makes me sad when he disobeys, he still does it. He asks for spankings rather then having to follow the rules. He NEVER EVER learns his lessons and will go right back to something after he has gotten hurt for the 500th time. It seems like the softer I talk the less he wants to listen and if I flip the script and yell he just smiles, like he has won some victory over me, he has stripped me of all things related to nice Mom and has awoken the beast, and it seems to bring him great joy.

I think he needs more attention and so I sit with him playing games, cuddling, reading books, and talking and he still deliberately disobeys me. I have high hopes for this kid, whose nickname is Baby Hulk. This kid can rage out like nobodies business. He can't seem to get through very few sentences without breaking out in some kind of hysterical rage and start yelling, growling and jumping up and down in his anger and frustration. Noah and I often joke that his rage, passion, drive and caution to the wind type personality he would do great in the world of athletics. However anytime we suggest anything like this to him he tells us he Hates it. He hates everything!!! 
He hates people.
He hates church.
He hates nicknames.
He hates movies.
He hates toys.
He hates cars.
He hates food.
He hates vacation.
He basically hates anything we ever suggest even though,
He loves to be around people.
He is always talking about Jesus.
He tells people his name is Taytay or Tators.
He loves to watch movies and Tv shows, especially Sheriff Cali, Mickey Mouse and Doc McStuffins.
He loves to play with castles and imaginext toys.
He loves to ride in the Car and is definitely our best car traveler.
He loves to eat snacks, all day every day.
He loves to go on any kind of trip and helps pack his bags.

This kid is a mystery to me so much of the time, but he is also so predictable the other half of the time.
He likes to get into food and make royal messes.
He likes to play in the water and get soaking wet.
He loves to be sung too and cuddled with.
He loves to build forts out of the cabinets in the kitchen.

He loves to play with Legos, but HATES to clean anything up, EVER!
He always tells me his legs are hurting or he is too tired.... is he really only 3?

He gets up most days and changes from his PJs into new Pjs.
He hates to get dressed and loves comfy clothes.
He hates to put on shoes, but hates to be bare foot.
He loves to be outside, but hates to be cold.
He loves to give and get kisses.
He can open the screen door from the inside but can not open it to come back inside.
He can frequently be found standing on the counter tops. I lock the stool up but he still manages to find something to help him get on the counter.

He has terribly dry skin and a constant runny nose.
He lives with tissue in his pocket and an upper lip that is raw but he refuses to let us put anything on it. Im pretty sure he has allergies, but getting him into the doctor is proving to be difficult.
He tells me all the time that I am beautiful and that he loves my clothes, he also tells me that Jesus made my jewelry almost every day.
He loves to offer prayers and is getting pretty good at saying them on his own.
When we kneel as a family for prayers he likes to crawl into my arms and calls it his tunnel.
His favorite bedtime song is Twinkle Twinkle little star, and sometimes we have to change it to Twinkle Twinkle a whole lotta stars.

If I tell him I have a headache or I dont feel good he will come over and run his hands all over me and say, "Fix, Fix, Fix! I fixed you mom."
He hates to walk up the stairs at bedtime and always asks us to carry him like a baby.
He has a milk intolerance but LOVES milk and tries to sneak it all the time.
Whenever he kisses me on the lips he whispers too me, "We almost got married, Don't tell Daddy."

One day on the way home from church he says to us, "I really love Primary!" Thank goodness for Sunbeams, he finally said he likes something.
He is my only kid so far to pick his nose and eat his boogers and every time I see it I almost vomit and have a long talk with him about how gross that is and how we do not eat our boogers but use a tissue for them. But no matter how many times we have this talk, he still turns around and does it again.
He is an insomniac but we have discovered a liquid type ambien made out of Essential Oils and he finally sleeps like an angel. He is usually asleep before I even get a chance to come sing to him. This is huge because only a month ago he was up till 11-11:30 and sometimes later, getting out of his bed and coming downstairs every 5 minutes.
Santa brought him a giant stuffed Alligator, that he wanted, and now he has nightmares about Alligators eating him... we had to hide the alligator.
He LOVES stuffed animals and sleeps with about a billion and one of them.
He puts just about anything and everything in his mouth.
He likes to be naked and still has pee accidents a lot.
He is very sweet and polite when he wants to be and has pretty good manners as long as he is in the mood, which is not that often.

Maybe one day I will figure out this kid, maybe I wont, but for now Ill just enjoy the crazy, uncertainty that he brings into my life.
He is the runt of the litter and the smallest of our boys by far.
He is the cuddliest sweetest little thing when I need him to be and fits right into the crook of my arm at cuddle time.
I think he likes to read just as much as me, which is WONDERFUL because I really love to read to him.
He tests my patience all the time and brings me pure love and joy just as often.
Ill take his crazy with his sweetness anyday. I can't imagine life with out him. He brings me so much happiness. Im glad I get to go on this crazy journey as his mom.

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