Friday, September 21, 2012

22 things every child should hear

       In this day and age the values that were once so prevalent in society are quickly fading away. 
I think its important that we teach our kids to be loving, caring, strong, courageous and full of self worth. The world around them teaches them things very contradictory to these values so its up to us as parents (which it should always be) to teach them theses things. 

Our kids listen to what we say.  I think that the things we say to them will be some of the most beneficial things we can do to teach them these values and to give them self worth.
Our actions of course speak louder then our words. So we need to remember that even if we say the right things to our children that these things will not matter to them if we don't provide the actions to back them up.

Here is a list of 22 things that we should say to our children (young and old) on a regular basis.
   1. I love you. Nothing that you ever can do will change that. I love you for you, no matter what. No child can ever hear this enough. Its like the calm, reassuring words in a dark and stormy world. Its creates a safe haven for them. When they hear these words said with real feeling behind them then they know that they can be themselves.

2. You are amazing. I marvel at all you do. Each day I am more amazed by all that you do and who you are becoming. This tells them that you see all of them. It tells them that you notice them and see how hard they work every day.

3.  Its okay to cry. People cry all the time for lots of reasons. It’s a good way to get our emotions out and to help us feel better and move on. Mommy’s and daddy’s cry too. I sure know I do.

4. Im sorry. I made a mistake. Please forgive me. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay, we are all still learning every day. And I will try harder to not make the same mistake again. When our kids see us own up to our mistakes then it will teach them that even when we make mistakes it doesn't make us a bad person. If we show them good examples and occasionally make mistakes and apologize for them, then they will know that its important to try hard, but that some times we fall a little bit, and that's okay.

5.  That was so nice. You did something really amazing. It’s wonderful to let our kids know that we see them doing nice things for each other. It helps them recognize that what they just did was something good and positive. It also tells them that we think they are a good person. It shows them that they have good hearts.

6.  Stand up for who you are and what you believe in. Sometimes standing up for what we believe in is not easy. Sometimes it will be the hardest thing we did that day. But it’s important that we do it, because it shows people our true character and it helps us strengthen our values and beliefs. In a world that is constantly changing and trying to create a grey area its important that we teach our kids right from wrong and help them to stand up for whats right.

7.  You made a mistake, and that’s okay. We all make mistakes, and its important to acknowledge the mistakes they made and help them to recognize it. Walk them through what a better choice may have been, so that when the situation presents itself again they will know how to handle it better. Let them know that the mistake they made does not make them who they are. Teach them that we learn and grow from our mistakes.

8.  What a great idea! You are full of good ideas. Listen to what they have to say. Show them that you care about the things they think about. If its possible then try their idea and show them that you value their opinion and that what they have to say to you matters. This will help them have more confidence and a good self worth.

9.  You can change your mind. You don’t have to go with your first choice. Kids make rash decisions in the heat of the moment on many occasions and just like we do as adults they need to be given a “get out of jail free card.” Let them know that it’s okay if they decided they want something different. If they have made a chose and it was a bad decision this gives them a chance to be able to correct the mistake. If you give them a safe environment where they are able to make kid friendly decisions and then when they, on occasion, make the wrong choice they will be able to learn from that and make the right choice.

10.   I have a secret to tell you. This will make them feel special and let them know that you want to share something fun or important with just them.

11.  I have a surprise for you. It does not have to be anything big. It could just be a piece of candy right before dinner, but something so small to us can be so magical to a child. This will show them that you love them and want to do nice things for them.

12.   I am pleased with how great of a kid you are. This is so important because the beginnings of their feelings of self worth start in the home, with you as the parent. If they know that you are pleased with them then they are given the courage to go out and share who they are with the world. It shows them that you notice them and how hard they are working to be a little better everyday. Telling them this gives them validation that what they are doing is good and right.

13.   Take as much time as you need, I can wait. In our ever moving, fast paced world children often times feel rushed and overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s important to just slow down and let them know that it’s okay for them to take the time to take all the things around them in, or to learn something new. Kids need to be given an open invitation to learn and to grow and when they know that they can do it at their pace then they are more likely to actually remember the things around them.

14.  I am all yours. Our kids are always having to share us with everything around them, work, siblings, school, cleaning, technology, chores, errands, etc. It is important that we let them know that they come first and that they know there will always be time for just them.

15.  Tell me about it. Tell me what happened. Kids love to talk, and they love to have someone listen. Even if they are coming to tell you a story that did not really happen, it’s important that we listen and show interest in what they are saying. This makes them feel like they have value and shows them that they are respected. This will help them become amazing friends one day because they will learn the value of an open conversation.

 16.  I am right here. I am always here. Children need to feel safe. As parents we are there rock and foundation. We bring them comfort in a confusing world. They need to know that we are always there for them. No matter what we are doing, they always come first and we will be there for them. Even if we are not going to be with them, we will still be thinking about them and we are just a phone call away.

  17.  Please and thank you. It is important that our children hear us use these words. They learn their manners from us, in our homes. If we do not say these words then they will not learn to say them.

18.   I missed you so much today. My son lights up when I tell him this. It lets him know that even when he is not with me that I am still thinking about him. This lets our kids know how much they mean to us and that they are our world. When we tell them that we miss them, we are telling them that life is just not the same when they are not around and that they bring happiness to our lives when they are around us.

19.  What do you wish for? Who do you want to be?  When we ask our kids to tell us about their dreams we are helping those dreams become more real for them. We are the foundation that they will build those dreams upon. When they know that we care about those dreams then they will have the strength and desire to pursue them. You can also learn a lot about your kids this way.

 20.  I am here. What do you need? When our children ask for help we should be there to provided it, even if it’s just to offer words of encouragement. When our kids know that we are part of their team then they are given the confidence to try new things and to branch out and learn more. When they know that they always have our support they will grow into confident adults.

 21. When you set your mind to it, you are capable of great things. Every kid needs to have their own personal cheerleader. They each need someone that they know will help them achieve their dreams. They need to know that dreams are possible to achieve. This tells them that if they work hard then great things can happen. 

22. I am so blessed to have you. I am so glad you are mine. Our kids need to know that we value them and that we are not the same with out them. They need to know that they are not just our children but that they are our greatest blessings. We need to tell them regularly that we are grateful to have them as part of our family. 

Here is the link to the article that inspired me to write this post.

Remember these things. 
Ponder on these things.
Our kids need us showing them and telling them everyday how wonderful and amazing they are. They need our strength and our encouragement. Just like they come to love the things we love they will also come to be the people we are. 
We need to make sure that we are the people we want our kids to be, because after are we are the biggest examples they have.

Most of these pictures were taken by the wonderful Andrea Gray at Andrea Gray Photography if you are in the Las Vegas Area you should look her up, she is AMAZING!!!!

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